The Bottle is Your Friend

Weaning is going well. Really well, actually. Currently we're down to one breastfeeding a day (in the morning when Roger wakes up), and after this weekend... none. I was a little concerned about the transition to formula. I read so many articles about the benefits of breastfeeding that I (I hate to admit this) started to become one of those moms who looked down on moms who chose to formula feed right off the bat. Understandably there are many legitimate reasons why some moms might choose to not breastfeed or are not able to breastfeed and certainly no one can fault that, but when I heard excuses like, "I don't want to breastfeed because of what my boobs will look like when I'm done," it was difficult not to look down my nose. Admittedly I still can't understand how someone could be so superficial; if THAT'S your only reason for bypassing breastfeeding... well, to each their own. I think all new mothers should at least TRY breastfeeding - there are studies to suggest that even just a day of breastfeeding is better than never having breastfed at all.

Roger has been taking a bottle exceptionally well from me. He's always taken a bottle well, but it wasn't until very recently that I was the one to give it to him. When he was first introduced to the bottle, he wouldn't even take it if I was within visual range - I'd either have to leave the room or hide under a blanket. Thankfully this no longer seems to be the case; despite our very first bottle being somewhat disastrous, we haven't had a repeat with our subsequent bottles. And truth be told, I actually really like giving him a bottle. All the books I read while I was pregnant touted breastfeeding as the road to a more bonding relationship with your baby, but I find that I spend MORE time gazing lovingly into Roger's eyes with a bottle than I did with breastfeeding. My boobs blew up to such an enormous size during and after pregnancy (I'm WAAAAY past D in the bra cup alphabet), that Roger mostly spent his feedings with his precious little face smothered. And he gazes back. Sometimes he'll reach his little hands up and grab my face or my mouth. Yes, I realize it sounds backwards, but I honestly do feel like we're connected more with bottles than we did with breast.

Other benefits (the supercilious ones): my wardrobe isn't as limited anymore. Gone are the days when I needed to worry about how quickly an outfit would enable me to whip a boob out. Since our only feeding left is the morning one, I just keep my pajamas on until after Roger's been fed. I still haven't given up nursing bras (all my prepregnancy bras are still a few cup sizes too small) and I still haven't given up sleeping in a bra, but I know these will come with time. Also, with the end of breastfeeding, I can finally start focusing my efforts on getting rid of this post-baby belly that's been haunting me these last 6+ months. Yes, of course you can work out while you're breastfeeding, but taking a jog with full boobs - not fun. I tried it for a while. And then I tried pumping before exercising which added more time than I had to my routine, so I hung up the running shoes for the time being. I DO undoubtedly owe it to breastfeeding for the 40 pounds I've lost since giving birth, BUT I still have 10 more to go before I'm back to prepregnancy weight. I can't believe I'm saying it, but I'm really excited to start running again.

But okay, formula's not all rainbows and glitter. First of all, it's not free. The price of formula borders on the side of ridiculous. A 24 oz tub of powdered formula costs around $20 and it doesn't last nearly as long as you'd like to think it would. I'm still breastfeeding once a day and Roger's bed time feeding comes from my stores of frozen breast milk, so with about 16 oz of his daily sustenance coming from formula, we're absolutely cruising through a tub of formula. I'm sure it will astonish me even more when we empty our freezer supply and my milk officially dries up. Matt asked me the other day how long I thought a tub would last. Well, I know if we don't use it within a month we're supposed to throw it out, and I certainly can't imagine a tub even lasting much longer than a week. I'm guessing we'll probably have to buy powdered formula 3 - 4 times a month.

The other downside of formula feeding is the poops. Yes, the poops. Let's be honest here: breast milk poops don't really smell all that bad. Sure, I wouldn't want someone to be marketing a Breast Milk Poop air freshner, but as far as the scent of poop goes, it's okay. Since we started introducing solids (by which of course I mean mushy baby food), Roger's poops have definitely not been as sweet-smelling, but with the addition of formula to his diet, his poops stink to high heaven. STINK. Really bad.

Though Roger doesn't seem to mind it all that much, formula also doesn't taste as good (yes, I've tasted my breast milk. Come on now, what breastfeeding mother hasn't sampled a bit of her milk out of curiosity?). And it's definitely not as convenient as just sitting down in a comfy spot and unsnapping the nursing bra. Since we began weaning, I feel like a good portion of my life has been devoted to bottle cleaning alone, not to mention the preparation process. The bottle warmer that's been sitting in our pantry largely unused since we received it is now a regular addition to our kitchen decor.

Despite its cons, however, I'm not as downtrodden as I previously was about the end of breastfeeding. In a lot of ways I'm happy to be completely reclaiming my body. I'm eternally grateful that our breastfeeding relationship was relatively obstacle-free - Roger and I picked it up in the delivery room like we'd been doing it our whole lives (well, I guess at that point Roger was but an hour or so old so you could probably say he HAD been doing it his whole life). But the bottle's not bad either, and the most important part is that our little man's getting the sustenance he needs and he's healthy and happy. Breastfeeding or formula, I think all moms would agree health and happiness are ultimately what's most important.