The Epidural

When I first got pregnant I was fully on board the epidural wagon. I joked about how they could just go ahead and administer it into my spine on my way out of the car in the parking lot. "I don't want anything to do with that pain," I said. My opinion on this has since changed for various reasons. My pain relief preferences in the delivery room are not something I regularly discuss with my friends. My life is not like a Nuva Ring commercial where I sit around with my girlfriends and all of a sudden we start discussing our birth control preferences and potential side effects. In fact, I have mostly avoided discussing the issue with my friends because I don't think it's really any of their business (seeing as they're not going to be in the delivery room let alone the one pushing the baby out), but also because when it DID come up and I DID happen to mention in passing that I was going to try to deliver without the epidural, I was immediately pegged as "nuts." This is one decision that was solely mine to make and one decision I truly did not want other people's opinions on, BUT now that it's out and I've officially been deemed as crazy, I figured I'd write a little blog about it.

My decision to TRY to forego the epidural (and I emphasize TRY because I never said I was absolutely positively going to do this without pain relief - just that I would like to give it a go. If I do decide the pain is more than I can bear, I'm not going to beat myself up for asking for the epidural halfway through labor) - the decision initially came with the knowledge I obtained in the childbirth class my husband and I took. It's not due to the potential side effects of the epidural that rarely anyone ever experiences, but rather what I learned about child birth itself. Apart from believing myself to have a rather high tolerance for pain, our bodies are pretty well equipped for child birth. In fact, I would even go so far as to say that a woman's body is designed for child birth. I think a lot of the hype for the epidural comes from women doubting their ability to withstand the pain - if you set yourself up for failure, you increase the chances that you'll fail. The thought of delivery is nothing short of terrifying for a lot of women and the epidural offers a modicum of relief from that fear.

The epidural is a relatively new phenomenon. For centuries women give birth without it. I am in awe of the pioneer women who used to just pull over on the side of their wagon trains, throw up a tent with their midwife in tow, and voila, a baby! If that doesn't demand some respect, I don't know what does (it brings to mind Stewie in "Family Guy" saying, "Imagine the nads on the guys who did this in a wagon! Pioneers, Brian! We share their spirit! Manifest Destiny!"). I truly have more faith in myself than to think I should immediately turn to pain killers, and if my friends think I'm "nuts" for that, well, I guess it's a good thing they get to make THEIR own decision when the time comes. I appreciate their rash judgment against myself on the issue though.

Finally, aside from having faith in myself when it comes to delivery, I also have complete faith in my husband as my birthing coach. To say I made the decision to forego the epidural completely by myself would be inaccurate; Matt was a large part of the decision as well. He expressed an eagerness to be as much a part of the birth as possible and standing idly by while I get a relief from a small tube in my back isn't exactly partaking in the miracle of the birth of our son. After 9 unbelievably long months of having to be the one to carry around our son, I am thrilled to be able to have Matt share a large and important part of it. Ultimately I didn't know what to expect when I mentioned to Matt that I would kind of like to try delivery without the epidural, but he was so fully on board, it was just a reminder of why I love this man so much in the first place.

SO my friends may think I'm nuts, but I prefer to think of myself as tough. Everyone's different and when the time comes that they're pregnant and about to deliver, whatever decision they make in regards to their pain options will be what works best for them. I made my decision for me.