Unsolicited Advice

Unsolicited advice is one of the many inclusive elements of pregnancy (or I should say apparent pregnancy since I was mostly left alone during my "inbetween" phase - Is she pregnant or does she just have a belly?). For the most part, I honestly don't mind it; I thank my lucky stars no stranger has yet been bold enough to approach me and start rubbing my belly. Admittedly it WAS a bit much when our waitress at a Mexican restaurant took it upon herself to spend a half hour telling me how unnecessary an epidural is (with no prior knowledge of what my stance on the topic was), but I recognize everyone's entitled to their own opinion and though I probably won't take it to heart (unless it strikes me as really good advice), I have no problem engaging in polite listening.

The exception to the rule is people who approach me and are actually oozing disdain for their children (seriously. Oozing). Nothing rubs me the wrong way more than a sneering stranger approaching me in a grocery store or some similar outlet telling me to "enjoy it while I can" (I haven't found all that much "enjoyment" in pregnancy, but from what I've been told, it's nothing compared to actually having the kid running around wreaking havoc). People like the aforementioned are definitely the minority, but having no previous knowledge of ME and apparently absolutely hating their children makes me wish they had just kept their mouths shut. My husband and I didn't start this journey off thinking that raising a child would be a cinch, and I could certainly do without having those who evidently regret having children treat me like I've made an enormous mistake.

It's incredibly difficult for me to smile politely at the person who's cornered me and is bombarding me with the woes of their much abhorred children. Some time ago, a couple with three very out of control children stopped me while I was registering for my baby shower to inform me that registering for all that stuff was the only enjoyable part of having kids for them. They then sarcastically insisted that I "have fun." Our microwave kicked the bucket last night, so I ventured out to purchase a new one today and a woman with a couple kids and an armful of baby gave me the standard facetious: "Enjoy it while you can." Of course these are just examples of numerous similar incidents (coincidentally, both of these took place at the same Target...), but I simply don't understand why someone would assume that I want their "warnings" of how horrible it is to be a parent. Though I like to pretend that my little boy will be a perfectly behaved cherub, I realize there will be those hair-yanking moments. I wonder at the couple who approached me while I was registering, at why they went on to have two more children if registering for the baby shower was literally the only enjoyable moment of it all; I wonder at the woman with her entourage of kids and her smart remark in the store today. Come to think of it, in all the incidents that come to mind, not a single person had only one child with them - they all had three or more they were impatiently toting along.

These people do irritate me. They make a tremendous amount of assumptions in approaching me and pointing their shaking finger of doom in my direction. The majority of unsolicited advice seems to be in agreement that no, it's not easy, but it's definitely worth it, and this consensus makes sense. I'd be amiss if I ever said I thought it would be "easy," but the parents who are so beaten down as to leer at my pregnant belly as though I'm carrying the anti-Christ are extremely disheartening. What in the world would make them think that I want to hear how much they hate parenthood and moreover, what gives them the right to assume that subsequently, I will end up hating parenthood just as much? I've started to simply walk away - to pretend I didn't hear them or that I didn't know their comments were directed at me. I'm so close to the end of the road, to discovering all these things for myself.

Honestly, I am not prepared. At all. What new mother can truly ever say she is? I have my subscription to "FitPregnancy" (their "new mom guide" in this month's issue says not to use diaper wipes on newborns... well, what the heck am I supposed to use?!?). I've poured over every word of What to Expect When You're Expecting and What to Expect The First Years. I've taken an Infant Care Class and a Breastfeeding Class (and obviously the Childbirth Class) offered by the hospital where I'll be delivering. All these steps have undoubtedly armed me with knowledge I did not previously possess, but none of it makes me feel more prepared. The unknown does terrify me and the child-hating parents of the world are not making it any easier by offering up their condemnation. One of these days in the very near future, the hospital's going to send my husband and I home with our little bundle of joy and the rest is up to us... The thought of that is nothing short of horrifying, but we learn as we go. I know we'll do the best we can and things will shape themselves as we go.