Ah, Pregnancy.

I have spent a great deal of my pregnancy complaining... about my pregnancy. Of course, it hasn't ALL been bad, and I suppose (in retrospect) some of it has even been humorous. With only a few weeks left till Baby Roger finally becomes his own entity, I decided I'd write a post to reflect on the good, the bad, and the ugly of my pregnancy. I'm told once the baby's born, I'll experience a bout of pregnesia in which I'll completely forget all the reasons I did not like being pregnant, and while that sounds promising, admittedly, I haven't hated everything about pregnancy.


The First Trimester. Of the three, I have to say the first trimester was the worst (excluding the first 6 weeks or so since I didn't know I was pregnant for the first 4 weeks and the following 2 weeks were just generally full of excitement). There's something so nerve-wracking about the first trimester, and not just because you're bombarded with the thought that you're going to have a baby (in fact, I'd have to say the reality of what the END of the pregnancy would bring was difficult to grasp at that time). Pregnancy is such a fragile thing in the first trimester. Spotting and cramping in the 8th week or so had us scared that perhaps getting pregnant hadn't been that easy. As it turns out there are a LOT of scary moments in the first trimester that are entirely normal and our "little dude" fared just fine.

My One and Only Craving. Greasy biscuits and gravy from a nearby casino coffee shop were all I wanted to eat for the first few weeks before I plateaued into a nearly permanent state of nausea and decided I didn't want to eat anything but crackers and Ginger Ale. I tried really hard to make an effort to maintain normalcy, but it wasn't easy. The exhaustion that accompanied the first trimester was surreal. What to Expect When You're Expecting explains that the exhaustion is due to the fact that your body is working over time to create a life. Creating a life really takes the life out of you. I averaged about 12 - 13 hours of sleep a day.


The Second Trimester. The arrival of the second trimester was an absolute God send. I quite literally woke up that morning and felt, well, human again. Adios exhaustion and nausea! My little bump started to become more prominent (the above photo was taken around 20 weeks). Finding out we were having a boy was exciting; I spent a minimal amount of time watching the screen during the ultrasound (since I couldn't see it), but watching the drop-jawed astonishment on my husband's face was just as good.

Gas. One of the "ugly" aspects of my pregnancy. In the words of my pregnancy bible (What to Expect When You're Expecting), "Nobody does gas like a pregnant woman." I think that's putting it lightly. Gas was one of those I-wish-someone-had-warned-me side effects of pregnancy, but of course, what could prior knowledge have done to make it any better or less embarrassing? It was the worst during the second trimester and even, on occasion, had the power to send my husband to the couch at night.

Maternity Clothes. I hung onto my regular wardrobe for as long as I possibly could. For the first 19 weeks of my pregnancy I managed to pull off my regular jeans with the help of a shoelace and the Be-Band, but once I started locking myself in my closet to get dressed (so my husband couldn't see the dancing, squirming, and general awkwardness of movements it required to get into my pre-pregnancy jeans), I finally accepted that it was time to bid adieu to my beloved jeans. The shoelace digging into my skin made me feel fat, not pregnant, and the Be-Band does NOT "hold up" pants as it claims to do. The first pair of maternity pants I tried on in the dressing room at Motherhood Maternity was like heaven. I couldn't help but utter an "Oh, thank GOD" which I'm sure probably elicited a few strange glances from the sales lady on the other side of the dressing room door. My SHIRTS, however, I've been able to hang onto for a little while longer. Even now, approaching 38 weeks of pregnancy, I have a couple "regular" shirts that still fit thanks to their general cut and design.

Starting the Nursery. Eliminating an entire room of our house turned out to be a task of epic proportions. The room that became the nursery was, once upon a time, our office otherwise referred to as our "clutter room" because it was exactly that - all the clutter from the rest of the house always managed to find its way into this room. Finding a way to relocate an entire room full of clutter is not an easy task, but we somehow managed to pull it off. Assembling the nursery furniture made the reality of the baby that much more REAL. Perhaps one day when he's older (like in his 20s...) we'll tell Roger the story of how we raised chicks in brooder in his room 4 months before he was born (subsequently, the carpets in his room are really clean now). I have to admit that no longer having a "clutter room" makes our house feel more like a home; it's like having a huge weight lifted off my shoulders not having that dirty little secret lurking behind a closed door.

Flying Pregnant. Here's the cool thing about flying pregnant (assuming you're flying Southwest with its open seating policy): if you're on a pretty full flight, no one wants to sit next to the pregnant woman. At the beginning of June just before (or was it just after?) the onset of the third trimester we flew out to Wisconsin for my niece's baptism. I, of course, had to sit in an aisle seat in order to make frequent bathroom trips easier. As the plane started filling up, Matt whispered to me, "Stick your stomach out. Make yourself look more pregnant." Sure enough, on a nearly full flight we were able to claim a row to ourselves. Apparently being pregnant gives you a built in repellent in crowded situations - I could almost see the wheels turning in peoples' heads as they passed us: Well, that open seat is a window seat, but that lady looks pretty pregnant. If I sit there and she goes into labor am I obligated to help?


The Third Trimester. When I first found out I was pregnant, I remember standing in front of the mirror trying to predict how big I would get. I explained to Matt about how all women carry differently and even showed him the illustrated picture in (yep, you guessed it) What to Expect When You're Expecting. I am, without a doubt, about 20 times bigger than I predicted. I thought because I was small to begin with that I wouldn't get that big. Ha. As it turns out, the size you are before pregnancy is not a good indicator of how big you'll be when you're in the third trimester. I quite literally BLEW UP over night. I smile amiably when people exclaim about how big I am, but honestly, I can't say that it thrills me to hear multiple people exclaim on multiple occasions, "Oh, my God you're HUGE" or "I can't believe how BIG you are." I feel like I should be joining the Ringling Brothers. The clerk at 7-11 seems unconvinced that I'm not having twins. Every time I go into the store and she's the one working, she shakes her head in disbelief at me and informs me that I'm that much bigger than the last time she saw me.


Bladder, Pelvis, Rib Cage and Lungs. These are the four things that will most appreciate it when they no longer have to share a space with my evidently very large baby. The feeling of Roger's head grinding into my bladder is awful, an almost tingly feeling that sends me to the bathroom about 800 billion times a day (only 3 or 4 of which I actually have to pee). My rib cage and lungs have been properly abused by the little man's flailing feet, and my pelvis... Oh, my poor, poor pelvis. Only someone who's had the weight of a baby resting on their pelvis can fully appreciate what a strange sensation it is to have a sore pelvis. I don't have the words to describe it.

Peeing in a Cup. Peeing in a cup is a frequent thing when you're pregnant. I guess you could say the "peeing with a purpose" starts when you first pee on that pregnancy test stick. The bigger I get, the harder it gets to pee in that damn cup and in a sick twist of irony, the bigger I get, the MORE I have to pee in a cup (due to more frequent trips to the doctor). I'll spare you the gory details...

The Childbirth Class. Makes you go from "We're having a baby!" to "OH MY GOD WE'RE HAVING A BABY!" Reality hits. We had fun in our childbirth class though and learned a LOT. As it turns out, giving birth is not at all like how it's portrayed in the movies. Who knew?

Maternity Clothes Revisited. I bought the cutest maternity capri pants from Burlington Coat Factory back in the second trimester. The other day I watched in horror as buttons were literally popping off of them. Thanks to my size, yoga pants are officially the only thing that currently fit. Thank God for yoga pants.

The Amazing Mobile Stomach. When Roger rotates around and sticks his little butt out, one side of my stomach is larger than the other. Watching my stomach move and change shape is interesting, to say the least. When he gets really active, I always wonder if people notice. Maybe they're waiting for a little alien to jump out and start singing "Hello My Baby" a la Spaceballs.

Summer Pregnancy. At first I was disheartened at the idea of being pregnant during the summer. In the desert, no less. Toting around a large belly in 100+ degree weather? No thanks. As it turns out, summer is a great month to be in the third trimester. Sure, shaving my legs is a little challenging, but easily enough accomplished by sitting on the edge of the tub. Painting my toenails is out of the question, but gives me a great excuse to get a pedi (as if a girl needs an excuse...). And oh, I could write an ode to flip flops. Seriously, I feel bad for girls who are pregnant in the winter and have to tie their shoes. Of all the things I've tried to accomplish with my appendages below my waist (putting lotion on my upper thighs is harder than I would have thought), tying shoes has definitely been one of the hardest. I guess the winter mommies always have Uggs, but nothing is as easy and convenient as the flip flop. Also, on a side note, I have to say that the whole not being able to see my feet thing isn't as annoying as others have lead me to believe - I never spent much time staring at my feet before I was pregnant, and it hasn't at all effected my ability to walk or avoid running into things.

And finally...

My Built in Shelf. One of my favorite things to do is sit back in the recliner with a good book and small bowl of Jelly Beans resting on the top of my belly. There is no denying that a pregnant belly makes for an excellent table; I've even been so daring as to put a glass of milk on it, but sometimes Roger starts kicking and then things tend to go a muck. Regardless, I have to say that of all the ups of pregnancy, one of the things I'll miss the most is the convenience of having my food right in front of my face.